Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
