they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
