so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
