the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
