Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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