Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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