How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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