11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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