Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
