I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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