Can Purell be used as lube?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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