He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
