In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize