Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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