So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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