i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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