dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
