that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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