I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
