Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
