Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
