there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
