Screwed.edu
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
