thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
