My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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