the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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