Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
