Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
