oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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