Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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