her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
