Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
