We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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