stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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