he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize