Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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