Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
