Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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