In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize
