she was so not down for the gang bang
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
