He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
