you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize