Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize