As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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