She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize