dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
