he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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