Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
