Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
