Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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