hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
