Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
