She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
