I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
