Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
