people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
