hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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