He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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