Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
